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Filling The Void. 6 Steps To Bouncing Back From A Toxic Relationship

Letting go of someone you care about — or have shared precious experiences with —  is one of the most difficult situations many of us face.

Deep in your heart, you know it’s time to go.  You know the relationship is harming you. So why is it so hard to walk away?

Often, it’s a fear of being alone that keeps us trapped – even in a situation that may have become abusive.  Note, this can apply to relationships of all kinds — from those with friends, family and co-workers to, of course, relationships with spouses and romantic partners.

If the above sounds like you, it’s time to take action when:

** You continuously feel depleted and drained.  The relationship has become all take and no give.  

** You finally recognize things aren’t getting any better, despite your best efforts to set boundaries and ask for what you need.  

** You finally accept that the other person is not going to change.

AND

** You realize you DESERVE BETTER 

Accept that letting go WILL HURT.  But you’re worth it!  Keep reminding yourself that it’s not worth staying stuck in a situation that’s more than likely to get even worse.

Once you’ve made the decision to walk away, changing a routine or activities you may have shared with another person for months or even years can be challenging.

Here are six ways to fill the void:

Nourish your soul with a new activity.  This is a great time to try something new.  But be gentle with yourself. Take a yoga or meditation class, experiment with a new hobby like painting or floristry, or sign up for local volunteer work.

Treat yourself.  For as long as you need to, avoid over-scheduling yourself and instead consciously make time for self-care activities like spending time in nature, long baths, massages, acupuncture or reiki sessions, spa appointments or visits to the movies.

Sleep.  The grief and emotional release caused by a breakup can be both physically and mentally exhausting.  Make sure you’re prioritizing sleep – and get plenty of it.

Journal.  End every day by “letting it all out” in writing.  Then, make a list of what went right. What were you grateful for today?

Get a change of scenery.  Book a weekend getaway to a new city or a simple day trip to a local beach, forest or national park.  Just be sure to make your destination somewhere NEW.

Call in your support squad!  Reconnect, laugh and cry with trusted friends who love and accept you and care about your future wellbeing.

Finally, remind yourself that happiness begins and ends with you.  You CAN reclaim control of your emotional wellbeing, once you understand that happiness is indeed an inside job.  Once you make this important shift you will bounce back with a renewed self-esteem and confidence, ready to welcome new relationships into your life.  New relationships founded on mutual respect and shared values.

For now, give yourself time and a big hug for making a courageous decision.  You’re worth it.

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RONDA ENGELHARDT

Ronda is a Peak Performance Coach focusing on Life Coaching and the Mental Wellbeing of Athletes in her practice. She is also contracted through a large Division 1 University program to work with their athletes as a mental coach. She specializes in fear, pressure, adversity, uncertainty, removing obstacles, anxiety, doubt, recovering from injuries or setbacks, and identity beyond a sport or a role. She provides a proactive approach to the mental health of athletes and teams on wellbeing and the mental side of the game. Ronda is also an accomplished athlete herself and spent five seasons as a head coach for a Professional Women’s Hockey team in the Premier Hockey Federation, and is a scout for the Nashville Predators of the NHL.

Ronda’s education includes undergraduate studies in Psychology, a Masters in School Counseling and post graduate certifications in Applied Positive Psychology, The R.E.W.I.R.E. Mindset Systemᵀᴹ, and is certified as an Applied Positive Psychology coach, specializing in Leadership, Mentoring and Coaching, Teamwork and Collaboration. While Ronda has specialized in the athletic mindset, she is passionate about helping any person wanting to uncover what is possible and learn to use their mind as an asset for reaching their full potential.

SYLVIA HALLIGAN

Sylvia Halligan is a mind-body mental agility and change management coach. She helps organizations successfully lead and navigate change, make it stick, and empower individuals to transform into flourishing, thriving beings. Her personal coaching practice incorporates a blend of eastern philosophy practices backed by western science. Interventions include guided visualization, hypnosis, breath work, embodiment, energy psychology, positive psychology, and neuroscience.

Sylvia is a Yoga Alliance Registered Yoga Teacher (RYT), holds certifications in Applied Positive Psychology (CAPP) and Applied Positive Psychology Coaching (CAPP), and is an ICF credentialed Associate Certified Coach (ACC). She is also a Prosci-Certified Change Management Practitioner and certified in The R.E.W.I.R.E. Mindset Systemᵀᴹ. Specialties: Leading organizations through change and making it stick. Guiding individual change journeys through holistic mind-body coaching. Teaching people to thrive, not just survive.

ANJALI IYENGAR

Anjali is a Holistic Health & Positive Psychology Pracitioner. As a naturally intuitive, compassionate, and deeply empathetic coach, Anjali creates an environment for her clients that allows them to truly understand the connection of how the mind and body coexist and relate to one another. Assisting clients in understanding the mind & body connection, how blocked emotions can reappear in emotional patterning or physical alignments in the body, and aids in healing through the use of various techniques, including The R.E.W.I.R.E. Mindset Systemᵀᴹ.

Anjali holds degrees in Communications and an MBA, along with post graduate degrees and certifications in Applied Positive Psychology, Integrative Holistic Health Coaching and Breathwork.ᵀᴹ

MARJOLEIN VAN DER KRUK

Marjolein is a trainer, facilitator and coach, specializing in Emotional Intelligence and Leadership. In her individual coaching practice, Marjolein works with people to educate and empower them with the tools from Positive Psychology, Self Compassion and Emotional Intelligence. Her work with corporations includes embedding innovative, human-centric mindset coaching, training and facilitation. She’s a Senior Leadership Facilitator for THNK, The School of Creative Leadership in Amsterdam, Netherlands where she develops global leaders in international corporations to unlock their full potential in leading themselves, and others, for greater impact.

Marjolein holds certifications in Emotional Intelligence and Leadership, Applied Positive Psychology (CAPP) and is an Applied Positive Psychology coach. She is also trained in Self Compassion, through the thought leader in this space, Kristen Neff, and is certified in The R.E.W.I.R.E. Mindset Systemᵀᴹ. Marjolein holds a Masters degree in Biomedical Sciences and Post Graduate degrees in Management and Positive Psychology.