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The Five Love Languages

Love is a universal language, but have you ever considered that there might be different dialects? 

Dr. Gary Chapman’s groundbreaking book, “The Five Love Languages,” offers dynamic insight into the diverse ways individuals express and receive love. 

But what about the other core needs: knowing that you are enough, feeling worthy of love, feeling capable of building a life, knowing you can feel safe, and believing you are going to be supported?

It’s true that by understanding the Five Love Languages, we can enhance our relationships and foster deeper emotional connections. At the same time, we can utilize other tools to supplement and give greater, more meaningful context to the love languages, like you’ll see below. 

Ready? Let’s dive in.

Overview of the 5 Love Languages

According to Chapman, there are five primary love languages: 

  1. Words of Affirmation
  2. Acts of Service
  3. Receiving Gifts
  4. Quality Time
  5. Physical Touch

Chapman believes each person has a dominant love language that resonates most strongly with them. 

Understanding which love language is most meaningful to you and your partner is helpful for effective communication and building a solid emotional foundation.

How Love Languages Manifest

According to Chapman, the love languages show up in various ways—both in the way we express love, and how we perceive it. 

For individuals whose love language is Words of Affirmation, verbal compliments and expressions of appreciation carry great significance. 

Acts of Service speakers demonstrate their love through actions and acts of assistance, such as cooking a meal or completing household chores. 

The Receiving Gifts language involves thoughtful and meaningful tokens that symbolize love and care. 

Quality Time individuals prioritize undivided attention and meaningful conversations, while Physical Touch lovers thrive on physical affection like hugs, kisses, and holding hands.

Benefits of Knowing Your Love Language

Chapman believes that understanding your love language allows you to communicate your needs more effectively and make your partner feel loved and appreciated—and I agree! 

By knowing your own preferences, you can guide your partner towards fulfilling actions that resonate with you on a deeper level. Identifying your partner’s love language also enables you to reciprocate love in ways that are most meaningful to them, nurturing a more fulfilling and harmonious relationship.

Benefits of Knowing Your Partner’s Love Language

Recognizing your partner’s love language enhances the overall quality of your relationship, without a doubt. 

By understanding their preferences, you can actively engage in behaviors that fill their emotional cup and make them feel valued. When partners actively express love in each other’s love languages, it builds a strong emotional connection and fosters a sense of security and intimacy!

Flaws or Shortcomings in the Love Language System

While the love languages offer valuable insights into how individuals give and receive love, I believe it’s important to recognize that people are complex beings with multifaceted emotional needs. 

The truth is, five love languages might not fully encompass every aspect of a person’s emotional landscape. 

Additionally, love languages can evolve over time due to personal growth, life circumstances, or changes in relationships. 

For this reason, it’s important to approach the love language framework as a starting point, rather than an absolute roadmap. 

The Life Block Quiz: Complementing the Love Language System

The Life Block Quiz is similar to the Five Love Languages in three major ways: 

  1. It will highlight the early experiences that helped shape the way you think and feel today
  1. It will illuminate how you process events when you’re in crisis
  1. It will teach you (and your partner) how to look after each other so you can have a healthier relationship with a deeper level of love and compassion

The results of the Life Block Quiz describe 10 different Animal Archetypes, each with a set of core needs, behaviors and also depicts your tendencies when triggered as this taps into the survival based instincts housed in the subconscious.

It will help you understand what motivates and drives your partner, so you can support them and pull them back into healthy alignment when things may go awry.  

You will also learn how to observe them when they are triggered versus internalizing their reactions to stressful situations.  
This quiz, designed to complement the Five Love Languages, delves deeper into individual personalities, communication styles, and emotional needs. By exploring the interplay between the love languages and other aspects of our lives, the Life Block Quiz offers greater context and insight, empowering us to forge even stronger connections with our loved ones.

Before You Go

Both the Love Languages quiz and the Life Block Quiz provide tremendous value in understanding yourself and your partner so that you can have a deeper, more loving connection.

And while Gary Chapman’s Five Love Languages are not without their flaws, they offer a starting point for deeper exploration and understanding. 

Take the Life Block Quiz to gain further insights and unleash the power of emotional connection in your relationships. 

TAKE THE LIFE BLOCK QUIZ

Remember: love is a lifelong journey of discovery and growth, and understanding our unique love languages and Life Blocks is a significant step forward.

TAKE THE LIFE BLOCK QUIZ
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RONDA ENGELHARDT

Ronda is a Peak Performance Coach focusing on Life Coaching and the Mental Wellbeing of Athletes in her practice. She is also contracted through a large Division 1 University program to work with their athletes as a mental coach. She specializes in fear, pressure, adversity, uncertainty, removing obstacles, anxiety, doubt, recovering from injuries or setbacks, and identity beyond a sport or a role. She provides a proactive approach to the mental health of athletes and teams on wellbeing and the mental side of the game. Ronda is also an accomplished athlete herself and spent five seasons as a head coach for a Professional Women’s Hockey team in the Premier Hockey Federation, and is a scout for the Nashville Predators of the NHL.

Ronda’s education includes undergraduate studies in Psychology, a Masters in School Counseling and post graduate certifications in Applied Positive Psychology, The R.E.W.I.R.E. Mindset Systemᵀᴹ, and is certified as an Applied Positive Psychology coach, specializing in Leadership, Mentoring and Coaching, Teamwork and Collaboration. While Ronda has specialized in the athletic mindset, she is passionate about helping any person wanting to uncover what is possible and learn to use their mind as an asset for reaching their full potential.

SYLVIA HALLIGAN

Sylvia Halligan is a mind-body mental agility and change management coach. She helps organizations successfully lead and navigate change, make it stick, and empower individuals to transform into flourishing, thriving beings. Her personal coaching practice incorporates a blend of eastern philosophy practices backed by western science. Interventions include guided visualization, hypnosis, breath work, embodiment, energy psychology, positive psychology, and neuroscience.

Sylvia is a Yoga Alliance Registered Yoga Teacher (RYT), holds certifications in Applied Positive Psychology (CAPP) and Applied Positive Psychology Coaching (CAPP), and is an ICF credentialed Associate Certified Coach (ACC). She is also a Prosci-Certified Change Management Practitioner and certified in The R.E.W.I.R.E. Mindset Systemᵀᴹ. Specialties: Leading organizations through change and making it stick. Guiding individual change journeys through holistic mind-body coaching. Teaching people to thrive, not just survive.

ANJALI IYENGAR

Anjali is a Holistic Health & Positive Psychology Pracitioner. As a naturally intuitive, compassionate, and deeply empathetic coach, Anjali creates an environment for her clients that allows them to truly understand the connection of how the mind and body coexist and relate to one another. Assisting clients in understanding the mind & body connection, how blocked emotions can reappear in emotional patterning or physical alignments in the body, and aids in healing through the use of various techniques, including The R.E.W.I.R.E. Mindset Systemᵀᴹ.

Anjali holds degrees in Communications and an MBA, along with post graduate degrees and certifications in Applied Positive Psychology, Integrative Holistic Health Coaching and Breathwork.ᵀᴹ

MARJOLEIN VAN DER KRUK

Marjolein is a trainer, facilitator and coach, specializing in Emotional Intelligence and Leadership. In her individual coaching practice, Marjolein works with people to educate and empower them with the tools from Positive Psychology, Self Compassion and Emotional Intelligence. Her work with corporations includes embedding innovative, human-centric mindset coaching, training and facilitation. She’s a Senior Leadership Facilitator for THNK, The School of Creative Leadership in Amsterdam, Netherlands where she develops global leaders in international corporations to unlock their full potential in leading themselves, and others, for greater impact.

Marjolein holds certifications in Emotional Intelligence and Leadership, Applied Positive Psychology (CAPP) and is an Applied Positive Psychology coach. She is also trained in Self Compassion, through the thought leader in this space, Kristen Neff, and is certified in The R.E.W.I.R.E. Mindset Systemᵀᴹ. Marjolein holds a Masters degree in Biomedical Sciences and Post Graduate degrees in Management and Positive Psychology.